Picture December 09

And now as I sit here with only a few hours of 2009 remaining, I am grateful.

While busy, December has gone well. The weeks leading up to the kids' Christmas break were some of the most stressful times this year. There simply was no more time to give. Every waking minute was filled to the brim. But I feel like we were blessed to the brim as well. Christmas this year was the most quiet one yet. Chloe is here. We stayed home while a winter storm raged outside and hunkered down together. No expectations. No pressure. It was precious.

We had more fun watching Lola enjoy her bones from her stocking then anything else.

I'm grateful for another year. To be able to rise everyday and breathe and live is the most wonderful gift of all. I'm thankful for the birth of our Savior and I feel blessed by His love. Happy New Year! May the Spirit of Christ be with us all in 2010.

Picture November 09

It's only been since November that I began working with the Young Women...but it already feels like that's all I ever do. As if raising 3 teenage daughters wasn't enough, I instantly became involved in the lives of dozens of other girls. So long to the comfortable fall season.

Instantly my life revolved around their activities, which immediately took me to Omaha and on a service project to the cannery.

And within weeks of adjusting to the new melee of life, we went to Montana for Thanksgiving where we met Chloe. It was great being together with everyone.

Picture October 09

October began with a quick trip with my Boyd to Utah. We were ALONE. It was my birthday present. Saw friends and family...and Chloe, attended General Conference and two different temples. It was the perfect ending to a perfect month.Shortly after we got home it was time for Homecoming. Hunter's first formal dance.

And once again, time starting speeding up when my Mom and Melanie came for a visit and to attend Time Out for Women with me. I wish I could have slowed the clock down at least a little.

Picture September 09

September was one of my lightest, happiest months of the year. Not only did I celebrate my 19th year of marriage but I turned 40. The turning 40 part is not so wonderful, but nothing...not even old age, could bring me down that month.

For some reason, the Lord saw fit to give me my life and my own schedule that month. I felt free-er then I'd felt in years. I actually worked out and didn't feel guilty about it. I enjoyed my children and the new things they were accomplishing at school and I felt contented. Even with the rumblings in the background of big changes that Boyd was beginning to make in his career, nothing brought me down. Now I look back at September with so much gratitude for the season of refuge it was for me. A month of safe haven.

One of the highlights for me was to participate in the Walk to Remember, in memory of Megan to benefit, "It won't happen to me", a non-profit organization for educating teens to drive safe. Megan has been an influence in my life this year and I have felt her promptings several times. Once specific occasion is too sacred for me to share, but very real.
I think another thing that brought me great joy in September was the advancement of development at the temple site. For someone who has been anxiously checking the site, religiously for months, it brought me such happiness to see work progressing...a sign that we would indeed have a temple. It reaffirmed my faith.

September, while short lived, was my season. By the time October rolled around, my comfort zone was changing again.

Picture August 09

If July was about reunions, then August must have been about good-byes and letting go.

I took my daughter to college.
It was something I had looked forward to and dreaded at the same time for years. It was bittersweet because of the way she was leaving. It had been a rocky summer. She needed to leave, she had to leave and I wanted her to. But it wasn't the way I wanted her to go.

She put on her pink "Megan" necklace that morning and we crammed our bodies into her packed VW and took off.

I tucked her into her apartment in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains, filled her cupboards, and scrubbed her toilets....and went home.
Where I cried and wept over what might be and what could be or could have been, for things lost, for things new and all the opportunities that lay ahead.
I wish I could say I even remember anything else about that month at all. I know the other girls started school. But that month will go down in my personal history book as one of the all time lows of my journey as a parent.

I also wish I could say that everything has turned out the way I wanted it to since then. The difference is that because I understand the principle of agency a little more, I have learned to not let the decisions of others wound me. I have felt more love and compassion and disappointment in the last 6 months then I ever thought could happen. I'm anxious to see how it will all turn out in the end.

Picture July 09

The running theme of the month of July is REUNIONS. It was all about gathering together. Whether that was at the Tallants for the 4th of July or at the beach on the Oregon coast with the Pomeroy's...it was about reuniting.
Getting away from reality and being around those you love and who love you unconditionally, very much saved my summer from being completely lost in despair. It was during this time that I learned to be a parent who loves their children despite the bad choices they make. It had been a few months of repeatedly disturbing issues that as Angela Phillips once described as "things that drive a good girl to cussing." My girls finally had given me the ride on the drama train that many parents of teen age daughters experience. But I didn't handle well, the lack of control I had as I watched things spin out of my hands. Between those reunions and the arrival of sweet Zion, I knew I would survive. I did learn however, that camping in the rain after driving almost two thousand miles is more then my patience can handle. But I also know that because I can ride in a truck towing a huge trailer, for days on end over thousands of miles, I can do anything.

Picture June 09

June of 09 stayed busy but was a great distraction from the emotional reservoir that was building inside me. Traditionally we do the same things every year this month...Girls Camp, Swim Team, and a temple trip or two. That June we were able to make the trip not only to Winter Quarters but to Nauvoo as well. It was Chloe's last year swimming and perhaps the last year ever at Liberty Hills for all the girls. It was Hunter's last year at Girls Camp too. Bridger turned another year older but luckily stayed my baby a bit longer. We also managed to fit in a trip to the Omaha Zoo...we'd never been there before. It's is pretty awesome. One of the things I remember so vividly about last June through August, was how wonderful the weather was. That was by far, the least humid summer I've been through since we moved to Kansas City. There were many days in a row that were downright pleasant.

The fruition of a blessing from the flooding curse of May occurred in June, when finally our new basement carpet was installed. Too late for visiting family to enjoy but it almost made us appreciate it all the more.

One of my biggest regrets about the summer was not being able to live in the moment and truly relax. It almost seems like one big blur to me. I want to enjoy every bite of fresh tomatoes. I want to rise early and walk in the cool air. I want to roast marshmellows and be outside with my family. I hope I'm better about that this year.

Picture May 09

May is Memory. It's a good thing for my blog too because without it, I could never remember half of what happened either. So much for my memory.

May is a month of Birthdays and end-of-year festivities...graduations of all sorts.




It was a month of wonderful visits from family and friends...all during the Great Flood...which turned out to be a great blessing in disguise...

I think much of May was spent crying...all kinds of crying.

Picture April 09

It's no wonder that by the time April came around that I was starting to feel a let down after all the build up of getting to and through March. Early April found me reflecting on the Savior and my job of teaching seminary. I was tired but rejuvinated by the light now beginning to come through the windows while I taught in the mornings and the prospect of excitement in the future

April was the the beginning of the end, so to speak. The next two months were a whirlwind of Senior moments with Chloe, starting with Prom and ending with graduation with a few big events in between....including the choir trip to Myrtle Beach.

Emotionally, by the time I reached September, I felt like I'd been in the belly of the whale. Chewed up and spit back out. Only now do I understand why. Many personal challenges with my children occured during these months. Fun felt like pulling teeth. And now I know that I have the good times to hold on to, to help me through the not so good times.

Picture March 09

My plan was to make it through 2009 by 2010 but I just realized a minute ago that tonight is New Year's Eve! The rush is on....

March 09 was Magical...

Disney

The girls' first trip there ever....

Skiing

Always a pleasure to be in Utah....

and Boyd's 40th!
If I ever feel down again, I just need to re-visit March of 09.

Picture February 09

Last February found me exhausted as I was still teaching seminary through the "dark months" and trying to keep up with my family's schedule. By day we found ourselves in the Merry Old Land of Oz and at night sleeping in the glow of newly painted harlequin walls. We also threw in some new carpet for the stairs and main floor. February was a visual treat. I was still smarting from the Presidential election...but planning and collecting the Feschrifts for Boyd's 40th Birthday and enjoying the distraction that it provided. And this February will mark a year for my sister Alexis' mission. She's in Tennessee now!

Celebrating the month of "love", literally, February was the month of Hunter's canned food drive and the Valentine heart shaped bundt pan giveaway.

Have I said by now how grateful I am for my blog? Going back and reviewing all that has happened during the last year has given me much comfort and peace. I DID accomplish something this past year...life!

Picture This...Jan. 2009

I've decided to archive the entry I was going to originally post today as it was more of a vent and more appropriate for my personal journaling rather then for sharing in the open. Instead I'm opting for a year in review over the next couple of days. This subject will definitely be more book worthy...:)

January 09

Sadly, the only pictures I have left on my computer from January are the piles of clean up after Christmas. I gave away an antique trunk full of decorations as well as several other boxes and bags of items I hadn't used in years and hadn't intended on using ever again. A bit of my Grandma Argyle took over me that month and away it all went. When this year's Christmas decorations were pulled from the boxes I was surprised at how much I missed opening the boxes of unused, old holiday decor. How strange. Even if I wasn't using them, some things did have sentimental value. But, I do feel the relief of not having stored them again for another year. I hope someone was able to appreciate them and enjoy them more then I was.

January began a year of major overhaul in the basement. Who knew that these very same Christmas decorations would within months be swimming in water?

Has it really been a decade since the new millennium? Can someone tell me where the time has gone?

Mitt hjerte alltid vanker

My heart doth always wander.
My heart did wander to thoughts of ancestors this day when Bridger wore an authentic Norwegian dress for a ward Christmas party. This beautiful antique costume is owned and was hand-sewn by Sis. Olaug...a true Norwegian. Boyd is partly descended from Norway...and in my opinion looks more Norwegian then Native American of which he is more closely descended from. I think Bridger inherited more of his European traits too.

Sis. Furnell taught about Norway at our Christmas party as we toured several different countries and their traditions and customs. She asked Bridger to wear this dress as part of her demonstration. She played an inpiring Norwegian song, sung by Sissel, with the most brilliant words I've heard all Christmas season. I was truly touched and since then have come home and downloaded this music and played it over and over.

My heart doth always wander

My heart doth always wander
To Jesus' manger bed,
His lowly birth I ponder
To Him my thoughts are led.
My yearning finds assurance,
And faith renews so bright;
When I recall with reverence
That blessed Christmas Night!

Ah, Come dear Lord, be with me
And in my heart, reside.
Sweet comfort Thou shalt give me:
Come Jesus, here abide!
To my heart--be no stranger,
My home, it e're shall be,
And as within the manger
My love shall cradle thee.

Thy holy crib I'll honor
and round it palm leaves lay,
To thee, alone dear Savior,
I give my life each day.
Come grant me heavenly pleasure,
And true delight impart
For Thou are my soul's treasure,
Born deep within my heart.

Truly better words I could never write to describe this blessed Christmas Night.

I hope someday to borrow back this dress when my favorite photographer is in town.
I will frame the photos with these lyrics so I will never forget and will always 'recall with reverence' that blessed gift given to us, as well as the wonderful inheritance given to me and my children.

What will you give for Christ?

Hello

A Happy Night to you all.....

Chocolate...

The Wise Gift...

Wherever you are...

Merry Christmas from the Kanenwishers...

Gingerbread HUD Homes

HUD for....Holiday Ultimate Digs

Made from Gingerbread, lovingly and loathingly baked by Young Womens leaders...

6 Teams

6 houses

candy galore

tubs and tubs of frosting

All make for one great activity...

I see my dream home here.....;)

Traditionally Speaking

Sue over and Sue's News & Muse, who by the way is a very talented poet...go check her out...posted her Christmas traditions yesterday. She wanted to know about others traditions as well. I've thought a lot about it...we don't have big traditions but we do have small ones that we've done for years.

I'm a collector by nature. Can't just have one of something. No way, that will not do. So guess what? Our traditions are about collections and displaying them in groupings. It all started with snow globes, a new one every year...and when the buffet was full, I stopped. About 12 years ago we started a new tradition to help me in my madness for groupings of collections. The night before Christmas Eve, that would be December 23rd, the girls sleep in the living room around the tree. The next morning they awake to new nutcrackers who have come to "protect" them during the night. This tradition began with one nutcracker a year and then deciding that each girl should have their own collection of nutcrackers, the craziness grew to one for each girl. So, we have a lot of nutcrackers. Do the math and you know...well, it's a lot. They alone, take up one shelf of the storage room. And every year I curse the tradition when they have to be unpacked and set out. So, what started as an obsession has turned to loathing. Not really though. The kids LOVE it, and I guess that is all that matters. And, just maybe I've passed my obsessive compulsiveness down to my children...OCD...it's what's for Christmas.

Since we moved to Missouri, our Christmas Eve's have been spent with the Tebbs Family. We always have a wonderful dinner, sing carols and unwrap one present each, which are generally pjs. But the most memorable part of the night is when we douse the lights but the ones on the Christmas tree and light a candle. The candle is passed around while everyone shares their "testimony" or something they've learned or experienced during the year. Since I'm awkward at these candle passings, I don't look forward to what I share but what others have to share.

On Christmas morning I put together a breakfast casserole and start cooking it when we begin to unwrap presents. By the time we're done unwrapping the food is ready to go. Although, if there is candy in the stockings....sometimes the casserole gets by-passed for a couple of hours. Nothing like a sugar high to get your Christmas rolling.

We almost always go to see a movie on Christmas day...unless it's on Sunday.

A little reminder...found on my children's old easel today...it's been there for months and I can't bear to wipe it away....

Yes, Jesus Rules. And this Christmas as with the rest we will come and adore Him, the best tradition of all.

A spoonful of sugar...

.....helps the medicine go down...

How do you gag down steriods and cough medicines along with the pasty film on your tongue left over from sealing Christmas card envelopes?

Wash it down with fudge.

That ought to do it.

A helping of Bridger's first loaf of homemade bread works pretty well too.....

As the song says...."Tis the Season......"

O Come Let Us Adore Him

I wish I had been there that night. I wish I could capture that feeling right now and my hope is that the true Spirit of the Season will come to me soon.

The decorations are up, including my very first nativity. The shopping has begun. The concerts and programs are lined up. The eldest flies home soon. The weary world rejoices.

Get a Clue

It was Miss Scarlet...

in the lounge....

with the lead pipe....

Hunter just happened to be Miss Scarlet in her Theater 3 production of Clue last thursday night. With 215 endings to memorize, 3 nights of shows, and finding an appropriate costume for an inappropriate character on the heels of returning from Montana tuesday evening....it was chaos to say the least. Ever heard Miss Scarlet played by someone with Bronchitis to top it off? This girl keeps us on our toes...in more ways then one.

I've never been one for "getting the clues". I wish children just came with a handbook that spelled it all out for me...with step by step instructions. What are the "clues" for raising teenagers? The only reference I have is that I was once a teen myself, unbelievably but true. I must have blocked out those years because my experience during that time is not helping me one bit. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll have an empty nest before I figure it out.

It's all about getting a clue right now.