A change of scenery

There are some things you never tire of seeing....

I never thought I'd say it but I think I'm ready for a change of scenery on the blogdom.  Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year but I think I'm over-saturated with it now.  Maybe it's because my kids are older and I didn't get into it this year so much.  But last night, I decked out the front porch and got my treats ready...for a measly 7 trick or treaters.

Last night was All Hallows Eve in Utah.  

But I live on a busy street in a retirement community.  So, no goblins visit the "K" house.  

Oh well.  

I'm still holding out that we'll see a couple more tonight.

Then again, maybe I should raise the parking to two hours...to encourage longer visits.

Maybe everyone else needs a change of scenery too.

I survived Angel's Landing...

Only because I didn't finish it.  I'm pretty sure I would have died if I had gone all the way.

It should be called a "climb" and not a "hike".  You literally climb up and down rocks with sheer cliffs on either side.

Mom and I started out and got spooked and headed back.

But the man finished.....

You gotta believe me when I say I am okay that I didn't finish it.  When I saw pictures of what I missed, I was floored at how dangerous the hike really is.  And I'm happy to say that I survived it.

As if surviving wasn't a good enough note to end on...

the "strenuous" hike up to Angel's Landing was definitely easier then the last time I went.  No lung fires or burning calves....so I'd say that's successful.  

I have more pictures to post of Boyd's climb later...

Be back later

This is where I'll be tomorrow.

Angel's Landing is open.

Grandma wants to go, so she can wear a shirt that says "I survived Angels Landing".

Wish me luck.

But I'll WILL be back later...

Rock of Ages

Rock on my little 14 year old Free Bird.

A Pumpkinie Plea

I made up the Pumpkin cupcakes that I made today.

Does that make sense?

I mean, I didn't follow a recipe.  I made it up as I went along.  They turned out pretty well.

Pumpkin Cupcakes with Pumpkin filling & Cream Cheese Frosting...

That's a mouth full.

Cupcakes

1 box spice cake mix
1 cup canned pumpkin
3 eggs
1 1/2 cup water

Mix all ingredients until moistened and then mix for 2 minutes with a mixer on medium-high.  Batter will be fluffy.
Fill paper lined baking cups 3/4 full.  Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.  This batch actually made 30 cupcakes.

Filling

1 3 oz box of instant vanilla pudding
1 cup milk
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Whisk milk and pudding together for about a minute.  Fold in pumpkin and spice.  Chill until cupcakes are cooled. Pipe filling into cooled cupcakes.  Just fill until you see the cupcake begin to expand.
If you don't have a piping tool, just use your melon ball tool and scoop out about 1 tsp of cake, fill with pudding mixture, put the cap back on.

Frosting

3/4 cup butter, room temp
12 oz cream cheese, room temp
2 tsp vanilla
6 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
milk

Mix butter and cream cheese together until smooth and creamy.  Add vanilla and spice.  Gradually add sugar in mixer until all incorporated.  Add milk 1 Tbsp at a time if needed for desired consistency.
Frost cooled and filled cupcakes.

These are super light cupcakes.  You could make them without the filling....they will resemble a very light muffin.  Be sure to chill them...they are even better.

Have a pumpkinie day.

Sister Sister Sunday

Hurry Grandma!

Hurry and get here Grandma!

We ordered up crystal clear, celestial blue skies and golden leaves...no wind and perfect temps...

We've swept the front porch...

We've put out the pumpkins...

We made pumpkin cupcakes with pumpkin filling and pumpkin cream cheese frosting..

We want to hike Zion's, and Snow Canyon, and the Santa Clara Petroglyphs...

Bridger's gonna play the guitar at her music concert tomorrow night....

We want to eat at Cafe Rio's....

We want to sing Happy Birthday to Grandpa...

We have packages for you....

Hurry Grandma!

Stop the Madness

While do I feel the need to change up the blog every day?

I need an intervention.

I know...right?

Enlightenment on a Spring

Why can't I show my love for Jesus like the locals do?

Why...I can!

Dashboard Jesus....will be in my car soon.  He is "enlightenment on a spring", so the box says.

I'm lonely, can you tell?

For $6 and change, you too can have enlightenment.

Peace out.

Every hands a winner...every hands a loser...

You got to know when to fold 'em.

Know when to walk away...

Not all cooking adventures will be da bomb.

Note to self:
Do not try to make up your own version of a tomato & basil quiche, ever again.

But put these on the list of hold 'ems...

Ketchup Cupcakes.

Sounds gross, looks gross when you make them.  Tastes like spice cake or carrot cake without the carrots.  No joke.

Cupcake Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp each ground nutmeg and ginger
1/2 cup Heinz tomato ketchup
1/2 cup water
2 tbsp red food coloring (I used 1 Tbsp of red gel coloring)
3/4 cup butter, softened
11/2 cups dark brown sugar, packed
2 eggs

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place liners into two 12 cup muffin pans.

Stir the flour with the baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda, nutmeg and ginger into a bowl. Stir the ketchup, water and coloring in a separate bowl. Set aside.

Beat the butter and blend in the sugar in a large bowl until smooth. Beat in the eggs. Add the flour mixture and ketchup mixture. Beat on low, scraping down the bowl as needed, until combined. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat for one minute.

Divide the batter evenly between the prepared liners.

Bake for 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Cool the cupcakes for 10 minutes before turning onto a rack to cool completely.

Cream Cheese Frosting Ingredients:

8 oz brick-style cream cheese, softened
1 cup butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 cups icing sugar

Frosting Directions:

Beat the cream cheese, butter and vanilla on medium speed for  3-5 minutes or until smooth. 

Gradually beat in the sugar on low, scraping the bowl as needed. Beat on high until fluffy.

Frost the cupcakes or pipe on frosting with your favorite piping tip and decorate as you wish.

So, I know it's hard to believe, but I may just be a little tired of cupcakes.  I'm going to take a week off and see how I feel about Pumpkin or Elvis Presley banana ones next time.

In other news today:

Hunter is taking the ACT at Dixie College this morning.

A right of passage.  I told her, the trick is to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.

Confliction

I have conflicting feelings about hunting.

I'm sure it was quite the shock a year ago, when we put up my husband's first trophy deer head in the entry foyer of my European looking house.  I don't think anyone believed that I actually liked it and was the one who suggested it go there.  I got some pretty wild reactions.

I'm not a fan of hunting for sport or for a rack.  But I am okay with the hunt for a purpose.
There are purposes.

I have enjoyed an elk dog or two in my lifetime.  Even on the occasion when we have chosen to not keep the meat, we have always donated it.

I am not a fan of killing animals.  Conflicting.

For the last few years Boyd has gone elk hunting with friends only he hasn't actually been able to get his own elk as he didn't have a tag.  He usually was along for the ride and to take pictures. This year, he got a tag.

After spending a week, tracking the elk he wanted, on the 7th day he took the shot.

What is it with hunting that can put a grin on a man's face unlike any other way?  No really.  Can someone please explain it to me?  I'd like to know how I never see this look of pure happiness unless there is carnage around.

When I find a place to put this rack, I will do it....even if it's in a garage.

You see...confliction...going on.

I'll show you what puts a grin on my face though...

From Blessed Little Nest

Can I get away with framing this and hanging it next to my turquoise antlers?

Tell me...is confliction a word?  Cause I think I have it.

A light bulb moment

I don't know if it was because of the recapturing beauty challenge or if was the three trips I made to the store in one day this week for sweet ingredients...but I had a wake-up call or light bulb moment yesterday.

I've been in denial I guess.

I've been through some pretty major life changes in the last year.
My husband quit his job.
We moved half way across the country, a decision and occasion that took about two weeks...and made for my 37th move in 41 years.
We live in a rental and make two house payments.
I sent a troubled teen to live with someone else for several months.
I've had gall bladder issues.
I left my friends and KC family for a place where in 3 months I've only really gotten to know, barely, 2 people.
We are lucky to have guests almost every weekend but that means I get to figure out where to put us all and basically run and clean my mini-hotel like it's my occupation.
There is a list of things both major and minor, but it's my denial that has gotten the best of me.

I'd say I am feeling a little out of control.

The one thing I have had control over in my life is food.  I've given up just about everything in the world that I enjoy doing but we have to eat right?  I even made a declaration that I was going to master cupcakes.  Why?  Because I can.  It's something I can do...and I can justify it because...well, we have to eat.  If I'm only spending money on the necessities, food is one of those things.  It's also a source of comfort.  Good food feels good.

So, when I'm making three trips to a store in one day, or when I'm browsing for hours on the internet for recipes or when I'm doing 3-4 loads of dishes in the same day...I'm guessing there may be a problem.

I've needed a hobby, a friend and a way to forget the reality around me.  Chocolate and all forms of sugar have been a blissful escape.  But then I'm frustrated with myself for having no will power to lose weight or stay in shape.  I'm constantly sabotaging myself.  So, then I feel the cycle of guilt in this process as well.  Every morning I wake with a new resolve to do better only to have eaten a Nutella cupcake before breakfast.

The girls certainly love being able to take their little baked goodies to school to share.  But I also need to make sure they are getting healthy foods too.

Last night, I decided to forego the usual high fat, gooey, cheesy dinner for something a bit lighter and more healthy.  At some point a while back I found a recipe for a butternut squash pizza.  I couldn't find it but remembered the gist of it and decided to give it a go.  One thing about eating healthy that I've learned:  it requires a little more effort.

One of the only good and productive things I've done since I moved here was to plant fresh herbs.  It has been really handy to be able to pick and use them whenever I want.  Plus, it inspires me to try more recipes.

Butternut Squash Pizza

1 butternut squash
1 can of pizza dough...homemade dough...even better
white onion, cut into thin strips
parmesan cheese
fresh rosemary
olive oil
cornmeal
Sea salt

Cut butternut squash in half length wise.  Brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt.  Bake on a cookie sheet or baking dish at 350 until tender when pierced with a fork.  It took about an hour.  Remove from oven, and cool.

Sprinkle a baking stone or sheet with cornmeal.  Roll out pizza dough into desired shape onto baking sheet.  Brush dough with olive oil, sprinkle with salt. Break up a few sprigs of rosemary and sprinkle over the top of the dough.  Bake in a 350 oven until cooked and lightly browned on the edges...about 16 minutes.

While the dough is cooking, scrap out inside of the squash with a spoon into a bowl.  Mash up the squash until smooth.  Add a dash of olive oil and mix.

Remove dough from the oven and spread with squash.  Place thinly sliced strips of onion, as desired over the squash.  Sprinkle with parmesan cheese as desired.  Place a sprig of rosemary in the center of the pizza.  Bake for about 16-18 minutes or until crust is browned and cheese is hot and melted.

It makes 8 slices.  You can taste the flavors better if you allow it to cool slightly before eating.

I think I can get a handle on eating more fruits and veggies but frankly, the hardest thing for me will be portion control.  I have an issue with a belief that I have to eat everything on my plate and eat seconds and thirds.  I just love food and the flavors.  And whoever said that you really only taste the first 3 bites, obviously didn't have my overactive taste buds.  I love food to the last morsel.  But, it controls me.  I need to exercise my own control over my foodie love.

However, I must say...in defense of all this eating homemade.  I haven't felt healthier in a long time.  I sleep better, my fingernails are strong, my skin is clearer.  I may be on to something here....homemade doesn't only satisfy the comfort need, it is just better for you...even if it is cupcakes.

I'm at a point in my life when I'm okay with putting forth a little effort in my cooking (what else can I do???) If you have any ideas for healthy meals...I'd love for you to share them with me!

Day 10 and a winner!

I had a bit of a panic this morning when my internet was down.  The drawing for the Italian bracelet took place at the appointed time, but I could not post the results.

I know...the suspense is killing you.  Right.

I enlisted the help of some kids of mine and a dog...pardon the ruin of my office.  I plead the "rental" excuse.  And surprise for me...frankly my dear, I don't give a darn.

So congratulations Randi!  Please email me your address so I can get this snail mailed asap!

Day 10 of the Recapturing Beauty Challenge:
Go here and take this quiz.
Was your score higher or lower than you thought it would be?  Reflect in your journal about where the 10 day challenge has taken you, and where you want to go from here.  What can you continue to do to improve your body image?

I'm not surprised with my score.  But through this challenge I have learned a few things about myself.

WHY:  Body acceptance is a lifelong process.  Some days, we will do better than others.  Every day, we have to wake up and make a decision to love and accept ourselves, inside and out.  As you continue to be mindful of this journey, you will find more and more freedom from comparing, negative self-talk, and more lasting self confidence, based on the things that really matter:  your relationships, your personality, your talents, and your relationship with God.

If you happen to be in the Provo area...go to this tonight...even if you haven't started or got a late start on the challenge.  You know I'd be there if I could.

I'm grateful for the opportunity of being challenged to rethink my body image issues.

We're all winners...because we have this gift of a body!

On the 9th day of Recapturing Beauty...

On the 9th day of Recapturing Beauty, our challenge was to be....

Body Kindness; take a nap or eat a yummy cookie...

Not really, but close.

Be kind to your body today.  Take a nap, go for a walk, enroll in a yoga class, get a massage, take a bubble bath, get a pedi or mani, or cook yourself a delicious meal.

Well..the meal is out, since I only cook desserts.

But I think I will count what I did yesterday as being nice to my body.  I bought myself a pair of running shoes.  On clearance but non-the-less, I bought myself shoes.  I think or I hope that having new gear will inspire me to exercise again.

I loved the quote for today...
"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely."
I think I may have thought of that one...so I should credit myself.

I've been thinking that maybe one of the reasons why we are so hard on ourselves is because we are taught from an early age that we will never be perfect but that we are to strive for perfection every day.  Somehow that translates to....be perfect every day, rather then...be a better person everyday.  I don't know, just a thought.

Lola the Wire Fox Terror may need some extra lovin' today.

She shredded her prized baby yesterday.  What on earth possessed her to do that?  I don't know.  I think she was ticked because we left her home by herself for a few hours after spending the whole weekend with her.  But doesn't she look so proud?  "Look what I did!" But she'll be sorry she doesn't have her baby, since I threw it away.

And she probably deserves a new one.  Do you know that she loves me no matter what?  It's nice to have a creature around who doesn't care what I look like or if I'm neurotic.  She only cares about the basics...a clean bowl of water, her daily food and a walk now and then.  I wish I was as easy to please.

On the 9th day of Challenge...our duty is to be....
Cherished, kindly treated...as we learn to accept our body....

Day 8: Self Talk

Only 2 more days of the Recapturing Beauty Challenge.

Do I think I am beautiful all of a sudden?  Well no.  But I have certainly given it more thought.

Day 8

Pay attention to your thoughts today.  Ask yourself, How do my thoughts make me feel?  Is what I'm thinking really true?  Practice challenging your negative thoughts and replacing them with more truthful ones.

"If you hear a voice within you saying, You are not a painter, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.
~Vincent Van Gogh

8 thoughts I had before 10:00 am

1.  I'm not smart enough to write a 12 minute talk.  Truth:  It isn't a skill or talent I have but I am capable of coming up with a talk.

2.  I will always be fat.  Truth:  My perception is way off.  First of all...I'm not fat...just round. Second, I don't always have to be round or accept that fact.  I do have the power and ability to change the way I feel.

3.  I can't keep up.  Truth:  Keep up with what?  Who cares if I don't have a well organized, fancy house.  I'm more focused on building things that last right now.

4.  My legs look like stumps.  Truth:  It's true, I'm not leggy but then I could do worse.

5.  I'm not a very good wife.  Truth:  There are good and bad days but if I'm washing dirty clothes and not nagging, then it's a good day.

6.  I can't get motivated.  Truth:  I may have to stop waiting for the mojo to come and just get off my fanny.  I think I need more action, less talk.

7.  I hate my hair.  Truth:  It's been a long time since I've had my hair done.  I don't spend a lot of time on it and it needs some TLC.  It's not a bad thing to take care of my hair and I should probably see a stylist.  But, I really am grateful for hair.  I could be bald and then I'd really appreciate my hair.

8.  I have no will power.  Truth:  It's National Chocolate Cupcake Day, so the will power will have to wait until tomorrow.

Happy National Chocolate Cupcake Day!!

Day 7 and Tuning Out

Day 7 of the Recapturing Beauty Challenge

"Only two percent of women describe themselves as beautiful".

The Challenge:
Tune Out the media...no tv, movies, magazines or Internet surfing.  Tune to nature.  Notice a sunset, gaze at the stars, sit by a stream and listen to the water.

I think I discovered how true this statement may be on Day 6.  I won't say I didn't ever think about or compare myself to anyone all day, but I was aware of it when I did and I tried to distract myself with other thoughts.  I realized how big of a part the media plays in my perception of myself.  And so, today's challenge was perfect.  It really is the best way to avoid thinking about or comparing ourselves.

I didn't look at one blog post today that included taking pictures of outfits worn throughout the week. You know the ones.  The darling 20 something year old, wearing her size 0 jeans and legs that are 6 feet long.  Nothing about that does me any good at all.
I also tried avoiding decorating blogs.  Part of my self esteem has to do with my love of decorating my home.  Right now, that's not really an option for me.  It hasn't been very uplifting for me to check out all the designs, furniture and ideas that only make me envious and frankly feeling hallow.
I need to focus on being grateful for what I have.

Lucky or unlucky for me...I have to give a talk in church next week as well as prepare a 50 minute lesson for Sunday School, which I will teach the same day.  I have spent a lot of time perusing the wise words of my ecclesiastical leaders....which is always uplifting.

I also did something fun and distracting.  I know my friends and family back home will know how much I enjoyed it too....I looked at a house for sell.  I know, so unrealistic...but it was soooooo fun.  Who knows, maybe I'll make a career at looking at houses.  It's so enjoyable.

And then I really distracted myself....well....more like, sabotaged myself.  Some how I've turned to baking more often this week.  Maybe a side effect of not weighing myself or caring about my appearance has driven me to the kitchen.  Maybe I've just need more distraction.

But this time, it worked well...even if the scale at the end of 10 days says otherwise.

I made Chocolate/Diet Coke cupcakes with Nutella Frosting.

The cupcakes are easy.  They don't necessarily go with the frosting although they might make you feel a little better about the damage you've incurred while eating the frosting.

I just wanted to try both recipes.

Cupcakes
Use a chocolate cake mix, without the ingredients listed on the box.  Just the mix and a can of Diet Coke....or whatever other dark soda you choose.  I think Dr. Pepper would be fab.

Mix up and pour into cupcake liners.  I've found that you will want the liners fuller then other mixes...they don't rise a huge amount.

Bake according to directions on cake mix box.

Frosting...le point culminant...the highlight of this dessert...

Nutella Buttercream Frosting

8 ounces softened butter
2 cups Nutella (yikes!)
16 ounces powdered sugar
4 Tbsp milk or cream

Cream butter and Nutella.  Add sugar gradually until combined.  Mix on high adding milk or cream until smooth.

Frost the cooled cupcakes.  You should have plenty for "tasting".  C'est bon.

Back to churchy distractions....they seem to get me in less trouble.

Day 6 with a side of No Fat, Please

Day 6 of the Recapturing Beauty Challenge...

No Fat Talk

Refrain from talk about weight or shape of self and others.  Be aware of how often you compare yourself to others and evaluate how this makes you feel.

I already know I compare myself to other way too much.  I find that if I just don't go out in public or watch tv, then I don't have much of a problem.  But then being a hermit isn't always an option, so maybe Day 6 is just what the therapist ordered.

Even when I'm not verbally making a comparison, I am in my mind.  I'd say I do it more then 15 times a day.

It's a rotten habit.

Apparently, I can't make peace with my body.

I'm going to try to divert my attention today and talk about something else....
like how grouchy it makes me to wake up to a sink of dirty dishes.

So after pitching a fit and then washing up the filth myself, then I make it all better with some homemade lovin'.

I have some canned apple pie filling still left in my pantry and I love pie but I don't like making pie.  So I found a recipe from Rachael Ray called the Craggy Crust, which is just a crunchy cobbler looking topping that she claims is a breeze to make.  I've not always had the best luck with her recipes, but I'm really wanting some apple pie right now so it's worth the risk.

It ended up being fun for a change.  And it is quick.  

Craggy Crust

1 egg plus 1 egg white

1/3 cup sugar

1/4 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

6 sheets graham crackers, broken into coarse pieces about 1 1/3 cups

Powdered sugar for dusting

Use whatever apple pie filling you choose.

Pour filling into pie pan.

In a medium bowl, combine the egg, egg white, sugar baking powder and a pinch of salt.  Using a mixer, beat on high speed until pale and foamy, about 5 minutes.  Fold in the graham crackers.  Spoon mixture over pile filling.  Bake until top is springy to the touch, about 25 minutes.  Dust with powdered sugar.

That's it.  Eat up.

Now off to enjoy the day, guilt free.