I'm afraid of being vulnerable.
I spent some time on Observation Point today. And the point is...when you put yourself out there, you are vulnerable. You are exposed. You experience an uncomfortable sensation.
For the last 4 years I have been pouring my heart out in a very public venue, concerning my spiritual beliefs. It has not been easy. It's a bit like standing on the edge of 2,000 foot drop off...gradually creeping closer and closer to the brink of disaster.
But, in the last couple of years, I've dared to go there. And I've survived.
I have challenged myself physically, socially and spiritually. The rewards for 90% of the time are worth the effort. Sometimes I have a set back. Sometimes the world spins. Sometimes I expose myself a bit too much. Sometimes I feel rejection. Sometimes my beliefs and I are labeled. Sometimes it hurts a little, sometimes it hurts a lot.
Until then, I may be suffering from what Brene Brown refers to as a "vulnerability hangover". But already, it's not as bad as previous setbacks. I believe by allowing myself to experience some level of discomfort, I become stronger. Just as I confront my fears of heights, so too will I continue to battle my insecurities.