It's not that there isn't a lot going on. It's just that I don't have much to say.
I am fighting the urge to vomit negativity all over the place. And from past experience, I am reminded that that sort of spewing doesn't accomplish much. I've been told from writers in the past that sometimes it just helps to get it all out on paper, so-to-speak. Nope. Doesn't work for me. But a few reliable shoulders and listening ears does help. And sometimes it requires more effort then it's worth to say anything at all.
There have been some delightful moments recently. And thank goodness. Because I've really needed them.
Bridger turned 16 and got her driver's license, only she won't show it to me because she hates her picture.
Hunter turned 19 and is currently in training to be what is commonly known as a 'blood sucker'....a phlebotomist. She has already made a victim of her younger sister but not me. So far so good though.
Chloe is coming home in a week or so to have her wisdom teeth pulled. Fun stuff.
I can't tell you all that I've been up to but I can tell you my house is filthy, my days are full and now I have my natural color of hair back. None of those things I am pleased about. I feel heavy. My heart is heavy, my body feels heavy, my life feels op-pressingly heavy. I am minus a vehicle. We sold the Cadi-Wagon and now I'm sharing a 12 year old beater with two of my children. I'm debating searching for a nighttime job, so that I can hike during the day. Something I can do from my computer would be ideal. Unfortunately, nothing in my life is ideal.
Cest la vie.
These moments in the mountains are my respite. These are my ideals. Glimpses into Echo Canyon and Corkscrew Falls give me strength.
This is me checking in. And now...signing off.
6 comments:
Oh Cheryl, I'm so sorry you're feeling so sad.
I'm glad that there is some delightful moments in your life, and what is important is they are coming from the right sources, YOUR family.
I wish sooooo badly I lived by you. I would totally be a hiking buddy, a listening ear, and a dieting partner. We could challenge each other to be healthy! It's a never ending battle for me, for sure. But honestly, from my end, you look absolutely beautiful and strong and fit.
Hang in there! Enjoy your delightful moments when you can, and don't let you-know-who win.
I hope a few breaks come your way soon, Cheryl.
You're due.
And then some.
Hugs,
Sue
Here's hoping for light at the end of your current tunnel, both the visual kind and the physical feeling.
Love you Cheryl, hang in there, I miss hiking with you, you are an amazing person!
Oh Cheryl hang in there lady! My thoughts are with you and a lightening of your journey soon. I'm glad you have fond memories of your hiking to feel some peace in moments when you need it. The pictures and stories you have told before are inspiring.
Oh dear Cheryl, what's going on. Sorry you are having some difficult moments and things seem dreary. Life will do that to us sometimes I think.
I HATE it when I feel swallowed up in things I can't control and seem to destroy me piece by piece.
But, somehow, I am thankful that GOOD things find their way into my life again.
I'll be thinking of you.
Take your hikes and find your respite moments. We need to do those things that "fill us".
love ya
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