It seems my little online journal is being neglected.
It's not that there isn't a lot going on. It's just that I don't have much to say.
I am fighting the urge to vomit negativity all over the place. And from past experience, I am reminded that that sort of spewing doesn't accomplish much. I've been told from writers in the past that sometimes it just helps to get it all out on paper, so-to-speak. Nope. Doesn't work for me. But a few reliable shoulders and listening ears does help. And sometimes it requires more effort then it's worth to say anything at all.
There have been some delightful moments recently. And thank goodness. Because I've really needed them.
Bridger turned 16 and got her driver's license, only she won't show it to me because she hates her picture.
Hunter turned 19 and is currently in training to be what is commonly known as a 'blood sucker'....a phlebotomist. She has already made a victim of her younger sister but not me. So far so good though.
Chloe is coming home in a week or so to have her wisdom teeth pulled. Fun stuff.
I can't tell you all that I've been up to but I can tell you my house is filthy, my days are full and now I have my natural color of hair back. None of those things I am pleased about. I feel heavy. My heart is heavy, my body feels heavy, my life feels op-pressingly heavy. I am minus a vehicle. We sold the Cadi-Wagon and now I'm sharing a 12 year old beater with two of my children. I'm debating searching for a nighttime job, so that I can hike during the day. Something I can do from my computer would be ideal. Unfortunately, nothing in my life is ideal.
Cest la vie.
These moments in the mountains are my respite. These are my ideals. Glimpses into Echo Canyon and Corkscrew Falls give me strength.
This is me checking in. And now...signing off.