Giddy

I am not one to show much excitement or get overly animated.

But yesterday I was downright giddy for a few minutes.

Yesterday was the first time since last summer that I was able to dip my toes into the Kanarraville Creek. For some reason, this hike hasn't been mine to enjoy this season and I've been anxious to visit this long-lost seasonal friend.

By the time I reached the first slot, not only did I forget my numbed feet but I nearly started jumping up and down.  I couldn't wipe the grin from my face and words like, "awesome", and "spectacular", kept escaping my mouth.  I snapped frantic photos of the same things over and over....as if I'd never seen this place before.

For some reason, this hasn't been our clients' favorite hike this summer. I'm just shocked by that.  I think most of our summer hikes this year, don't involve much scrambling and aren't technical.  We usually hike on well maintained trails and we hike quickly.

Kanarraville requires you to slow down a bit, to use your hands often and watch every step you take.  And while it takes almost 3 hours to move 4 miles, I feel like it is much more of a workout than traveling faster in shorter amounts of time.  Your core is constantly engaged.  Your upper extremities are assisting and at times, carrying your body weight.  And, it's been a long time since I've had war wounds, as I call them.  Scratches and bruises are common when you are bouldering along sometimes.  But I wear them with honor.

Hiking in Kanarraville Creek is also a mental challenge.  Your mind and eyes are constantly searching for and avoiding obstacles and simultaneously your senses are being over stimulated.

Someday I'll take a "real" camera in there, with some "real" photo taking skills and then MAYBE I'll be able to capture this sliver of heaven on earth.

Until then, I'll just stick to being giddy when I visit my seasonal-friend.

It's Ours

It's official.

We own the Retro House.

You can see it here. 

And here. 

And here.  

And here.

And all of this retro-ness is mine to do what I want with!

I look at it completely different now and I am so grateful.

First miracle.  Check.

Tangled

I confess.  I've never seen the movie "Tangled".

When I tell people that, I literally hear gasps.

Yesterday I got a little tangled though.

In wildflowers.

I got to spent a few glorious hours in the mountains.  This particular trail, Mill Flat was inundated with flowers and wildlife yesterday.

I dare say, these tangles diverted my mind from the other every day tangles of life.  I didn't even photograph them for the first 8 miles because I know I can do no justice to these pristine webs of nature.  But then I remembered that there can be cloudy days with not a bud to be found and I convinced myself that maybe, someday, a glance at the pictures from this day, will brighten and re-divert me again.  Even if they profit no one else but myself, they will serve their purpose when the time comes.

I confess.  I'm a fan of being tangled by wildflowers.

Reflecting on Hindsight

Life is full of hindsight moments right now.

Usually you experience these fragments of illumination after something tragic has happened or after a period of extended trial in your life.

The thoughts come out like, "Should have known better", "Could have done something about that", "Would have liked to made a better decision", or even, "I guess I knew that all along".

For me, hindsight is usually a tender mercy.  A release.  Because sometimes I feel like I'm going cuckoo for cocoa puffs. And just when I think I might tip over the brink, a glimpse of clarity washes over me. Hindsight. And then I learn the lesson that was meant for me all along. And then I realize the bigger picture and the requirements of completing the journey.

Tomorrow could possibly be a day of closing chapters for my family and a few others I know. We are all feeling the mercy of hindsight.  We are able to see the miracles around us and have our faith renewed and restored.  I sometimes wish that I didn't have to experience the suspense of life.  I'm not a fan of prolonged surprises after much anticipation.

But I am grateful for hindsight.  I am grateful for a Plan.  And I know there is one.

Thanks be to my Father for answered prayers, for being patient with me. And for the gift of hindsight, whereby my faith in His plan for me grows.

Hangry

Hangry is what you get when you mix hungry and angry.

We first noticed this syndrome when Bridger was a baby.  Halloween night, when she was 16 months old.  She threw the biggest melt-down temper tantrum as I was trying to usher the older girls out the door in their princess costumes to trick-or-treat with their Dad.  Bewildered, I sat our ordinarily content toddler in the high chair and fed her dinner.  Tantrum over.  Smiles galore.  No more cranky pants.

And through the years we've noticed, especially with her, that if any of our kids are particularly grouchy, we feed them a snack and they are cured of their bad mood.

This morning Chloe had her wisdom teeth removed.  And we had a discussion about being hangry.  And so it goes, so she is; hangry.

I guess I can sympathize.  Four new holes in the mouth can be quite discomforting.  Not to mention the 8 hour food fast before anesthesia.

Nevertheless....we have hangry going on over here.

Which reminds me....I've eaten nothing but sugar all day.  It began at dawn with a chocolate chip cookie made late last night after I went to bed.  And even at this very moment, I'm am neurotically chewing bubble gum, spitting it out and chewing more bubble gum as much as I can cram into a 10 minute blog post.  Gum wads are piling up on scrap paper all around me.

Does anyone else do this?  Over sugar yourself?  Get hangry?

One thing that cures all...

A walk in the Narrows of Zion.

A dip in the cool water makes you forget your anger and your hunger.

I better go.  I feel a sugar crash coming on....back to being hangry...

Chasing Waterfalls

As temperatures soar this week, my mind will cool off in the memory of chasing the Toquerville Falls.

A girl has got to chase something right?

Summer Home

Nestled in the Quaking Aspens at 9,000 feet above the sea, was our humble abode for a week.

Who new metal storage containers could be so cozy?

Things I loved about camp:

My sleeping bag warmed with bottles filled with hot water.

Beautiful yellow flowers that opened during the night and closed with the first rays of sun in the morning.

Starry, starry skies.

Pink and white balloons released and floating toward St. George, with notes of "What will I do to Arise and Shine?" attached.

Mrs. America teaching us about the 3 Crowns....the Crown of being a Princess, the Crown of the Lilies (as we consider others), and the Crown of our Savior, who atoned for us.

Cafe Rio.

Crackling fires at night.

Signing the Young Womens Theme.

Giggles and sweet conversations heard through the plywood divider.

Pure and innocent testimonies.

15 extraordinary youth.

Learning a new hike.

Watching the Stake Leaders dance a choreographed number called, "Arise".

Coming home to my real summer home.

Checking in

It seems my little online journal is being neglected.

It's not that there isn't a lot going on.  It's just that I don't have much to say.

I am fighting the urge to vomit negativity all over the place.  And from past experience, I am reminded that that sort of spewing doesn't accomplish much.  I've been told from writers in the past that sometimes it just helps to get it all out on paper, so-to-speak.  Nope.  Doesn't work for me. But a few reliable shoulders and listening ears does help.  And sometimes it requires more effort then it's worth to say anything at all.

There have been some delightful moments recently. And thank goodness. Because I've really needed them.

Bridger turned 16 and got her driver's license, only she won't show it to me because she hates her picture.

Hunter turned 19 and is currently in training to be what is commonly known as a 'blood sucker'....a phlebotomist.  She has already made a victim of her younger sister but not me.  So far so good though.

Chloe is coming home in a week or so to have her wisdom teeth pulled. Fun stuff.

I can't tell you all that I've been up to but I can tell you my house is filthy, my days are full and now I have my natural color of hair back.  None of those things I am pleased about.  I feel heavy.  My heart is heavy, my body feels heavy, my life feels op-pressingly heavy.  I am minus a vehicle. We sold the Cadi-Wagon and now I'm sharing a 12 year old beater with two of my children.  I'm debating searching for a nighttime job, so that I can hike during the day.  Something I can do from my computer would be ideal.  Unfortunately, nothing in my life is ideal.

Cest la vie.

These moments in the mountains are my respite.  These are my ideals. Glimpses into Echo Canyon and Corkscrew Falls give me strength.

This is me checking in.  And now...signing off.